Digital ways to remember the ones we’ve lost (Exploring Games as Bereavement Support Pt.4)
Posted: 5 Dec 2025This week, Safe In Our World has joined the Good Grief Trust’s Grief Awareness Week, with Bethany Rainbird leading the conversation around grief and bereavement.
Moving on
When grieving, it can feel like there’s a pressure to ‘move on’ from a loss, especially in stiff upper-lip cultures where it’s expected to keep moving forward as if nothing happened.
Loss is catastrophic and complicated. Letting go of the expectation to suddenly be okay can be a battle.
But part of that battle is understanding that, in reality, there is no ‘moving on’. You don’t suddenly forget the person, your memories with them, or the love you have for them. The connection you share will always stay with you – it’s not something that belongs in the past.
Instead, learning how to safely hold onto fond memories can help us process loss in healthier, more compassionate ways – without feeling like we’re being pushed to forget.
Meaning making
There are infinite ways to remember the ones we’ve lost. At its heart, meaning-making is about connection – finding intentional ways to feel close to someone who’s no longer here. In the world of games, that connection might come from:
- Playing their favourite game
- Replaying games you played together
- Playing games that remind you of them
- Playing games you think they would have liked
But games also offer unique connections that can, at times, feel a little unexpected…
Rituals
Traditional rituals – funerals, vigils, wakes – serve as a form of remembrance and mark the significance of life. They let people gather, share stories, and honour a life. And in an increasingly digital world, many of us can’t always attend these rituals in person.
Online games have always offered a space for digital occasions, whether it be celebrating birthdays or holidays together. And that goes for acts of remembrance as well. Spend enough time in EVE Online or World of Warcraft, and you’re bound to come across virtual funerals for people’s guildmates or friends. These digital worlds offer accessible yet intimate spaces for people to mourn socially – especially when physical gatherings are too difficult.
Shrines and Memorials
Even at the best of times, it can be hard to label what we’re feeling. Talking can help us understand our emotions, helping us understand exactly what we’re feeling and why. Similarly, creating a physical space for our memories can help us express and externalise the grief we’re feeling.
Building a dedicated space for our memories can give physical form to feelings that may have otherwise stayed stirring within us. Using creative building games like Minecraft or Animal Crossing can allow us to craft dedicated spaces for those we’ve lost. Sometimes we may even do this without thinking, choosing certain colours, objects, or layouts because they remind us of our loved ones.
Preservation
Acts of preservation can remind us of the impact someone had on our lives. Physical ephemera – like handwritten letters, ticket stubs, photos, voicemails – can carry great sentimental value and emotional weight. Within games, we can preserve digital keepsakes such as screenshots, gameplay videos, shared save files, or beloved virtual belongings.
When someone has been part of our lives, we find pieces of them everywhere, including in the games we played together. These memories can surface in unexpected or even humorous ways: silly Miis made on your childhood Wii, funny messages you left for each other in your Minecraft world, or maybe a triumphant screenshot of the first time you finally beat them in Mario Kart.
Alongside virtual ephemera they may have left behind, there are other abstract things that they may have left. Games may still hold their virtual avatars, with their customisation choices, and their save files. They may have left behind an objective, quest, or goal that they never managed to complete. They may have left behind a virtual home. All of this can help offer new ways to remember and explore who they were.
Understanding what’s next
Meaning-making is another one of those deeply personal things, and there’s no prescribed or proper way to do it. What matters most is finding approaches that feel supportive and meaningful to you. But it comes down to connection, and reinforcing those memories so we can process loss in a healthy way.
Acts of remembrance and meaning-making can be a challenging step in the bereavement journey. There’s an element of acknowledging their absence and understanding they need to be remembered. It can take time to feel ready, and that is perfectly okay.
As you begin to comprehend loss and accept what has happened, you may find yourself more able to engage with the topic of death itself. Our final article will explore how video games can provide a safe space for you to do exactly that.
Written by Bethany Rainbird