For a lot of people, it can be easy to freeze up and not know what to say if someone admits they are struggling.

How do you fix it? Is it your job to? Where does your responsibility lie?

Let me present a hypothetical situation, but one that has happened many times to people across the internet: a stranger messages you on social media wanting to talk about their personal struggles. There is no consent to discussing a potentially triggering topic. The person is distressed, looking for support, and is crying out for help. 

Without knowing anything about this person – and without warning – you are now in a position that may feel uncomfortable, distressing, or confusing. It can be hard to know what to do when put on the spot, so I want to share some examples of things you can do to respond to others in crisis empathetically, while maintaining healthy boundaries.

COMMUNITY MANAGERS AND CONTENT CREATORS

One huge issue we see frequently with content creators and Community Managers is something called ‘parasocial relationships’. These are one-sided relationships, for example how a fan may feel about a celebrity; the fan may admire the celebrity and expend energy on pursuing their interest in this person, when the celebrity may not even know they exist.

We see online personas on our screens all the time, and it can feel like you know these people on a personal level. It can cause you to feel an emotional attachment that is not reciprocated. While that’s a whole other topic of discussion, it can also be a driving factor when we see creators and CMs exposed to trauma that they did not consent to.

Creators, Community Managers: you do not need to be anybody’s therapist. It’s not your job, it’s not your responsibility, and it’s walking a moral tightrope. But there are ways you can navigate these interactions to help the person feel supported whilst keeping yourself safe.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Let’s start off with one simple truth – there is no magic solution to this scenario.

It is absolutely valid to feel confused, frustrated or even angry if someone you do not know approaches you and shares traumatic events in their life, unprompted. However, I think is important to recognise the pain and struggle that person must be feeling in order to have done that in the first place.

While trauma dumping can be unfair and even harmful to the recipient, it’s important to try to redirect the person experiencing that trauma to resources that are equipped to support them in ways you cannot.

It’s not just this scenario that can leave someone feeling unsure of how to respond – so let’s discuss some practical steps you can take to support someone.

Signpost – one of the main ways to responsibly support someone who is struggling with their mental health is to point them in the direction of help. We have a wealth of resources on our Find Help page, as well as information and support on mental health terms and conditions. If you’re a streamer, consider setting up live commands in your chat to signpost to these resources, so they are accessible at all times.

Provide guidance, not advice – even if you are a Mental Health First Aider, it does not mean you are qualified to give advice. Information and encouragement are a great way to let vulnerable people know where they can find help, as well as setting that precedent that you might not be the person to provide it.

Boundary-setting This can include clarity on how to (or how not to) get in touch, or establishing clear rules on communication between yourself and your community.

Training – by learning more about mental health, you can become a more knowledgeable ally. Taking part in training such as becoming a Mental Health First Aider, or learning basic mental health awareness, can equip you with valuable skills to support others in times of need. Safe In Our World regularly runs free, global training, so keep an eye out for those opportunities and book onto them when you can. You can also find more information and training on our YouTube channel.

Non-judgmental listening – if you’re talking to someone about their mental health, whether it be a friend or a colleague, non-judgmental listening can create a safe space for the other person to feel heard and supported. Do not underestimate the power of simply being heard.

One of the main learning points I took away from the Mental Health First Aid course I took was that you can only do what you can do.

What I mean by that is that you can do everything in your power to help provide people struggling with resources and direction, but you cannot force someone to seek support if they do not want to. It means you can try your best to provide a listening ear, or to point people in the right direction, but don’t punish yourself if it doesn’t work in the way you want it to.

Creating spaces where mental health is not stigmatised and where people feel able to be authentic and more vulnerable with each other can promote a culture in which asking for help is not something to be ashamed of. If you’re reading this, and perhaps you’re not sure – it is okay to ask for support.

Written by Rosie, Content & Community Manager